a manifesto of sorts...

alright im not sure if this is a manifesto (its not at all but should be), but, i came across this blog ( http://www.igotuggs.com/ ) and was filled with the rage of an old man sending soup back at a deli...then i read a post of a similar sort and figured id make my own (as i make make no claim to be completely original)... this is a problem seems to transcend all socio-economic, geographic and ethnic boundaries (thanks to cheap chinese knock offs we call all look like ho-bags, is this truly mao's the emancipation of the global proletariat?) .... here are some thoughts, because if there is one thing i stand for its judging people, and being right (those are two things, yes, a bad joke)....

1) time to harp about abominations of beauty... ok so is there a machine that dispenses 'those girls', you know the ones, that come from the same cookie cutter: $150 dollar haircuts, ugg boots (i doubt all of you are hiding cankles, and if you are, is the swamp foot really worth is), straight bangs, 4mm thick eyeliner (leaving you looking like a deer caught in the headlights about to get rearranged by the grill of a ford f150) and god knows how much pancake cover up, spandex-stretchy pants (replaceable with sweat pants only if you are going to the library to 'study'), long shirts from american apparel, bug-eye sunglasses, big purses, one hair elastic around your wrist, 'saying' you used to have an eating disorder, two-door red honda civics pumping maroon-5, bleached hair at least ocne a year, 12.745 pounds of lip-gloss used a week, a fake tan (where you get to the point that you cannot remember your original skin colour and tone so you end up looking like a half-hearted attempt to have black face) and listening to feist (this does not make you counter-culture)... this is no joke foos...there needs to be an end to the malaise... this is the last cry of one man trying to reclaim the right to having a boner...

2) i think we all need to see some long bangs, some freckles, a face that you can remember, a face that looks better than the night before asleep beside me in the morning, if you have curly hair dont feel you need to straighten it, someone who isnt afraid to be a little neurotic but not bat crazy, maybe some opinions or a personality, an audible laugh, someone who thinks ruffies should not be an inherent danger when you go out, someone who thinks 8-bit music is fucking shit, etc etc etc.... be warned, this does not necessarily mean a move towards the "more edgy" flannel tops, short hair cuts, telling everyone your wardrobe is all thrift store but you got a few urban outfitters tops for 'christmas', converse shoes, keifahs, and raybans....

these are my demands,
seduction should be an art,
who will join the revolution with me,
the time has come,

-m.


ps - feel free to add to the lists in the comments...